Sunday 12 August 2018

Freaking Out About the Big 3-0

I did a Q&A over on my Instagram account a week or so ago (if you don't follow me then you totally should because that's basically where I post all of my content now, including videos over on my IGTV channel. Shameless plug). I'm turning 30 in about 3 or so months and I wanted people to ask me some questions about it. It seems like there's so many question marks and a little bit of stigma surrounding turning 30 and I wanted to kind of... Get it all out in the open. 

I've had moments over the last year or so where I've freaked out about the fact I'm going into my 30's soon. It's been so scary at times and it sort of feels like no one really talks about how scary it actually is? Unless it's just me freaking out over here on my own in which case lol to little old loner me over here and feel free to stop reading any further. 

Getting older has completely taken me by surprise. I don't feel any older mentally than I did aged about 25 however I've now got people asking me when I plan on having kids, if I plan on having them at all, what my maternity package looks like where I work and if my credit rating is OK to get a mortgage. These are all totally acceptable questions and I like people being inquisitive, but it's a lot of pressure to put on someone who's only been in a relationship for 8 months and quite frankly, is a bit of an over thinker. Society seems to of taken time and put a multitude of finite time stamps on it telling you when you should've achieved parenthood, marriage, self awareness, sobriety. It's fucking stressful. And it seems to be more stressful if you're a woman. I don't want to get into a sexism debate but as women, we've been taught from a young age that our biological clocks are ticking; I know the risk of having children reduces with age Susan I don't need you to constantly remind me. 

I've lost count of the amount of times I've seen eyebrows raise when I tell people I don't own my own house yet, or that I'm not married. I almost want to respond with some crude stats on divorce rates in America or the plight of the millennial and the fact it's nye on impossible for us to purchase our own property but then I figure it's pointless; society is predisposed to see us achieving these milestones by a certain age so who am I to question it? 

At the end of the day, I can't change the fact that I'm aging and I can't change the fact that I haven't achieved all of the milestones that my friends have. All I can do is live in the now (as let's be honest that's all that really matters) and trust that I'm exactly where I should be. I will always have days where people's opinions on my life get me down, but I know I'll look back in years to come and have a good old laugh at how I freaked out about what's essentially.... Just another birthday. 

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