Sunday 19 July 2015

The Importance of Letting Things Go and Moving On


I suck at letting things go. There we go, I've said it! When bad things happen I dwell on them. I'm a dweller. 

Now for me, the issue with letting things go isn't necessarily the person/ situation that may or may not have wronged me in some way. It's me. When bad stuff happens I always blame myself and the result of that usually involves some kind of personal dress down; given to myself by myself. It's stressful, unpleasant and more importantly... Boring. Who wants to spend hours of their life dwelling on the negative? There have been a few situations over the last 18 months or so where my ability to let things go has been tested. I would say I've done well with some of them but not so well with others. I wanted to share with you a few lessons I've learnt along the way and how these lessons have taught me the importance of letting things go and moving on: 

- Letting Go of Things Doesn't Mean You're Admitting Defeat -
There's a huge difference between letting something go and admitting you were in the wrong. Now the latter may sometimes be necessary; we're not all perfect and sometimes we need to actually admit we could have done things differently. But moving on and choosing to put things in the past is an incredibly strong and mature thing to do. Not every situation requires a battle of two sides. 

- Holding onto anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burnt"  Buddha -
Apologies for the cringy quote! I couldn't really summarise this in a title and this quote from Buddha really does sum up what I was trying to say pretty accurately! Hating on someone will never do you any good. The person can't feel you're distaste for them just because you're feeling it yourself and the hate will only eat you up inside. Letting go of your dislike for someone will do wonders in the long run. They say the opposite of love is indifference so feel indifferent instead! I find it a lot more satisfying!

- Don't Air Your Dirty Laundry In Public - 
"Oh but Sophy it's just so TEMPTING!" I know I know! I've done it myself and at first, you feel awesome but give it an hour or so and you'll feel like an idiot. Social media isn't the place for arguments and your negative opinions on individuals. No one likes a cringe bag so stop with the awkward, pointed Facebook status' and vent to your mates/ boyfriend/ girlfriend instead. 

- It's Not All On You -
Bad things happen but it's not always solely your responsibility to take the wrap for them. Whether it's an argument with a friend or a project at work that didn't quite go to plan, the onus isn't always solely on you. Don't allow people to use you as a scape goat. A good manager or friend will always know that there's two (or three... or four) sides to every story and when push comes to shove, they'll make sure you know that. 

- Don't Go It Alone - 
Letting go and moving on from bad things that have happened in your life can be a lonely experience.  It can feel quite isolating when people don't fully understand why you're feeling the way you do. Make sure you open up to your friends and family and let them support you; sharing is caring after all! 

As one final thought for you all, I wanted to share with you something I've been trying to do on a daily basis. Whenever I'm out I'll make a conscious effort to smile at a stranger (nothing dodgy I promise!) Or ask someone who looks like they are struggling if they need some help. You'll never know about the personal battles people face on a daily basis, and that one little kind thing, whether it be a smile or the offer of help, might make that persons day. It's nice to be nice guys! And the world could do with a load more kindness.

Lots of love,

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